It’s strange for me to think that my first small encounter with Islam happened just over 2 years ago. I was in my last couple months of college, very involved at my church and planning my first trip across the Atlantic Ocean alone. Making my weekly trip to the thrift store I, of course, stood in the book section looking for new treasures to take home. I must’ve picked up a couple 99 cent paperbacks of English classics before I moved over to the nonfiction shelves. A couple of history books looked promising enough for me to pull from the self and flick through. I continued scanning the shelves and shuffling to the left until I met the dusty corner of books where there is a piece of paper with the word “RELIGION” taped to the self. It’s mostly a bunch of Bibles. I’m sure some well meaning grandmas gave them to someone they love very much. Yet there they sat, by the dozens, for 99 cents or $2, the spine in perfect condition. I scanned the shelf trying to see if there are any books investigating the archaeology or scientific evidence contained in the Bible. This is a bit of a lost cause in the thrift store, as most of the books are from the 90’s and have titles like The Power of Prayer or Do You Hear Me God? (I pulled both of those titles off the top of my head and then looked them up later to discover that they’re both real Christian guide books). In between all of the usual books my eyes fall on something out of the ordinary. A green hardback with gold lettering: The Glorious Quran. I remembered from the little history I was taught in school about Islam that this was their holy book but I’d never actually seen one or read any amount of it. Standing there I realized how silly it was that someone as interested in literature, history and culture as I was had never cracked the Quran. I figured that at the very least $2.00 was a small price to pay even if the book just sat on my shelf as a reference tool or something to make my book collection look well-rounded. Something felt very forbidden about taking it home when I knew that this book was in direct conflict with my own faith. I had to remind myself that there is nothing sacred about willful ignorance, especially in regards to a religion that is a sister to Christianity. I took the Quran home and read the first surah for the very first time on my bedroom floor. I wish I could say that the mountains shook and trumpets blew and I saw angels, but in reality I felt nothing remarkable about any of the pages I read at that time. I flicked through and skimmed for a few minutes, subconsciously looking for verses that would confirm the rumors I heard in the news about men getting 72 virgins in Heaven or women being inferior to men. I also understood that Jesus was in the Quran so I was looking for his name but didn’t realize his name in the Quran in Isa, so that search was fruitless as well. This first encounter with the Quran made me realize that I should have a Muslim guide me though the Quran if I really wanted to understand the faith. In the same way that I could imagine a non-Christian would need someone to guide them through the Bible for the first time. So a few weeks later I decided that the mosque would be my next mission. I had absolutely no idea what going to a mosque meant. I didn’t even know that Friday was the holy day of the week for Muslims. Going onto the mosque’s website I saw 5 different times of day listed and no days of the week mentioned. I think I was most confused as to why one of the times was at like 5.00 in the morning. I had no idea that these were prayer times and there was a special prayer around noon on Friday that would’ve been the best for me to attend. All of this confusion made me realize that I wouldn’t feel comfortable going without a Muslim friend to help me, of which I had zero in my mainly white, mostly Mormon suburban town. My curiosity in this religion never went away, I just set this mission aside for awhile.

There are so many things I wish I had known about Islam years ago when I first held that Quran in my hands and felt like a sinner for doing so. Sometimes I ponder on all the heartache I could’ve saved myself if I had tried harder in my research into the Quran or braved an uncomfortable first time going to the mosque alone. Looking back, I realize that back then I didn’t think there was a place for a white, Christian girl to be poking her head into someone else’s religion for the sake of her own curiosity. I had so many false, preconceived notions about Islam back then. This makes me wonder about all the other non Muslims out there who have the same ignorances I had. I’ve created this blog post as a source of education for non-Muslims about Islam to help anyone who may have been in the same place as me several years ago. Below I have listed a couple of the myths I believed about Islam several years before my research.

1. You Shouldn’t Go to a Mosque if You Aren’t Muslim

This is one myth I believed that I sometimes wish I hadn’t held onto because I think about all of the hardship and mistakes I could’ve avoided if I had found Islam earlier. I also think about how empowering it would’ve been to find Islam on my own. I found Islam through Rami after I fell in love with him and I fear that people will always assume I converted for Rami rather than through Rami. Things worked out the exact way that Allah willed and for that I am so grateful. One of the biggest things I would like to make clear to non-Muslims that are curious about Islam like I was years ago, is that the mosque is open to ALL. No one will ask for a sort of “Muslim Membership Card” as you enter or force a hijab on your head. It sounds stupid, but my biggest concern about going to the mosque was the question of wearing a hijab or not. In that time I was very curious about the hijab and thought it was so beautiful and partially wished it was more accepted to wear one as a Christian.

I can definitely see how entering a mosque as a non-Muslim would be daunting. I was lucky enough to be able to go with Rami’s older brother Ramiz the first time so I wasn’t completely lost. The mosque was still a completely different world for me as someone who grew up in American “mega churches”. You must take off your shoes and go into the correct prayer room based on your gender. I think the separation of men and women was the most shocking for me. Especially since Ramiz was the only one in the building I was comfortable around and I didn’t know any of the women. I felt like I was being pushed into a closet since the women’s room seemed inferior to the men’s area. I don’t think this is an intentional case of discrimination but rather based on the fact that this mosque in Poland is very small and was never built with the idea of becoming a mosque one day in mind. There are significantly fewer female Muslims than male Muslims in Poland so it only makes sense for the women to have a smaller room. The other women in the mosque were all nice and friendly and a bit curious as to what an American Christian was doing at the mosque. One of the women was kind enough to find as many books as possible on Islam that were in English for me to take home and study.

From my experiences going to the mosque as a non-Muslim I learned that the mosque is mainly a place of worships but it also acts as a place of refugee and a place of education. If anyone is just a little curious I would recommend the mosque even if you have to go without a Muslim friend to guide you. Several years ago when I went to the website for my local mosque I was so confused at all the times listed but the only time that matters for a non-Muslim is the Friday prayer (it should be around 12.00 or 1.00 PM). I hope you will feel welcomed as the people at the door with greet you with “As-salamu alaykum” (peace be with you). If you feel comfortable you can reply back, “Wa ʿalaykumu s-salam”.

2. Arabs are the Only Real Muslims

I’m embarrassed to say that I literally, seriously thought this was true. Like you couldn’t convert to Islam if you weren’t Arab and if you did you would be like second class. I know, a very harsh myth I harbored. I guess this falsehood stems from how vital Arabic is to Islam. The only true Quran is in Arabic and any translations aren’t actually anything more than words on paper. This is because of how the Quran lives and breathes in it’s original Arabic. Reciting it is like rhythmic poetry easing off your tongue. So it is true that I do feel disadvantaged because I don’t speak Arabic and memorizing even just a couple of verses is like asking me to walk on water. Despite this, I am no less of a Muslim than anyone else. Technically all of the people who surrounded Prophet Muhammad and are mentioned in the Quran and Hadith were also converts to Islam. In the eyes of Islam there is no superiority based on nationality, family name, skin color, native language, gender, etc. It’s all the same, with the only elevated trait being faith and piety. In this uncertain time in America and the world, centered around issues of race, Islam remains firm in it’s stance against religious discrimination of any race. The quote below is from over 1,000 years ago but rings so true today.

“There is no superiority for an Arab over a non-Arab, nor for a non-Arab over an Arab. Neither is the white superior over the black, nor is the black superior over the white — except by piety.”

Prophet Muhammed (SAW) Hadith: Musnad Aḥmad 22978

Muslims are united together in one faith with so much diversity. I used to think converting to Islam would mean that I would be required to embrace all parts of Arab culture. This just isn’t true because there are some parts of Arab culture that contradict Islam and even parts of American culture that can coexist with Islam. Muslims exist all over the world and have varying cultures based on their language, country, family life and more. Islam is a religion for all of mankind and I wish I had had a better grasp on that a few years ago.

3. All Muslim Women Wear the Hijab

This is really just akin to saying something like “All Christians go to church every Sunday”. Sure, in both cases maybe it’s a good idea or strongly recommended but every single person in every religion practices differently. Some Muslims pray 7 times a day or 5 or 0. The required amount of prayer is 5 times a day but everyone has a different internal relationship with Allah that is really no one’s business. When it comes to what women put on their head or wear on their bodies people get really caught up in judgement or assumptions, regardless of religion or culture. This just comes down to the fact that everyone practices their beliefs differently. An extra yard of fabric on your head doesn’t make you sinless and the absence of doesn’t take away your faith. As far as the hijab goes, wearing my hijab is an amazing privilege I enjoy. I live in Poland and there are no laws against my hijab. I easily could’ve ended up in France where hijab is banned in all French schools and government offices. Or China where practicing Islam is forbidden in parts of the country and wearing a hijab puts you at risk of arrest. I enjoy great freedom in a workplace that is indifferent to my clothing choices and even allows me to pray at the school whenever necessary. This is a very simple human right that I enjoy but millions of others don’t. For this reason no one can place all of the weight of any woman’s faith on what she wears on her head. Islam comes from the heart, not from your clothing. I have been very fortunate in that my whole family accepts the choice I have made in converting to Islam and supports my choice to dress very modestly now but that’s not the case with all converts to Islam. Many men and women have to make the heartbreaking choice of outwardly practicing their religion and losing their family or giving up things like fasting, wearing a hijab, praying 5 times a day so that they can remain in contact with their family. This is a choice I have not had to make and I can say “Alhamdulillah” everyday for that.

4. Jihad is Bad

This is probably this most controversial heading of this post but hear me out; it’s not what you think! When I was in high school and college I was taught the phrase, “Not all Muslims are bad! It’s the jihadists!” Which is partially true. When people say this they are classifying terrorist organizations such as ISIS and Al-Qaeda as jihadists, because these groups are the ones taking passages in the Quran about “jihad” and distorting them for their own use to justify the killing of innocent people. Unfortunately, these groups have twisted the meaning of the word jihad so much that if a Muslim mentions it as a positive thing to a non-Muslim it could easily be seen as a threat of extremism. The Arabic meaning of the word jihad is basically struggle or holy fight. It’s nearly parallel to the Christian use of the word “trial”. There are two essential parts of Jihad with the greater being “internal Jihad”. The fight against temptation, sin, worldly lifestyle, satan and so much more. True jihad is getting up at 3.00 in the morning to pray Fajr when the only thing you want is sleep. True jihad is wearing a hijab and modest clothing in a Western culture. True jihad is following through with a long day of fasting. True jihad is persisting through memorizations of the Quran. This type of jihad yields the greatest rewards in life and Jannah (paradise).

Now, the second type of jihad is also important but there are many rules to make it valid and in line with Quranic values. External jihad requires taking up arms to protect the Islamic faith. All religions and cultures practice this when necessary so that they wont be stomped out by a greater antagonist. Compared with internal jihad, external jihad is lesser because of the truth that living for what you believe in is so much more trying than dying for what you believe in. The rules of jihad are strict and there is no room for interpretation, so there are very few instances when external jihad can be deemed legitimate. A few of the rules are as follows:

Muslims cannot be the ones to start a war but can only act in self defense.

Fight in the way of Allah against those who fight against you, but begin not hostilities. Lo! Allah loveth not aggressors.

Quran 2:190

Soldiers cannot harm women, children, the elderly or trees.

Stop, O people, that I may give you ten rules for your guidance
in the battlefield. Do not commit treachery or deviate from the
right path. You must not mutilate dead bodies. Neither kill a
child, nor a woman, nor aged man. Bring no harm to trees, nor
burn them with fire, especially those which are fruitful. Slay not
any of the enemy’s flock, save for your food. You are likely to
pass by people who have devoted their lives to monastic services;
leave them alone.

Caliph Abu Bakr (First Caliph after Prophet Muhammad’s death)

These rules have been completely disregarded by the groups that use Islam as their supposed justification for committing terrorist attacks and crimes against humanity. The vast majority of the people who have been killed, kidnapped, raped, imprisoned or displaced by these groups are Muslims. Even in America, Muslims have faced endless discrimination as a result of 9/11. The people going to the mosque every Friday in America have nothing to do with people hijacking planes or suicide bombing. In fact, radicalization happens in front of a computer screen (very similar to how white supremacism occurs) and is not tolerated at mosques. Terrorists are terrorists. It has nothing to do with jihad or the Quran or Islam. It has everything to do with people finding a scapegoat and an excuse to kill. There will always be violet people in the world with no connection to their race or religion.

5. Women are Second Class in Islam

I think this last myth is the most toxic of all of the falsehoods that I used to believe. There are many places that this belief could’ve stemmed from but I think one of the most harmful was media and film. As I sit and write this I’m trying to think “when was there ever a time I saw a strong, smart Muslim woman in film, books or on tv?” The answer would be absolutely never. If there is a Muslim women in a movie she most likely plays one of two parts. The first is the wife that gets beat by her husband. The second is the young girl that is forced to wear hijab by her father but falls in love with an American boy and is ‘liberated’. I distinctly remember a “pro-Christian” film I watched that had a scene were a Muslim girl was researching the Bible and was beat out of the house by her father. Lovely reflection of Islam, right? Media is an incredibly powerful tool that can either do a lot of damage or do a lot of good. In the case of Islam, media mostly perpetuates the harmful stereotypes that women are oppressed and men are violent. There is so little Islamic representation in Hollywood that people mostly develop their perspective of Islam based in the news. I can vividly remember being a young girl and watching videos on the news of scary-looking bearded men and terrified women in full coverings. I thought about how these women needed to be liberated from a religion that took away their humanity. Without the ability to see strong Muslim women it’s easy to turn to the “appeal to ignorance” fallacy. We think, “Well I’ve never seen a non-oppressed Muslim woman in person or on tv so they must not exist”. So many have never seen the other side of Muslim women. The women that go to prestigious universities, become doctors, fight in wars, write books, raise incredible children. My first fear in converting to Islam was that I would “lose my voice”. I mentioned to Rami that I didn’t want to give up the things I was passionate about like writing and teaching and studying. I didn’t want to just melt into the background forever since that’s what I thought happened to all Muslim women. Some of the guidelines on modesty require a more reserved woman in public but that has no connection to oppression. Most of the Muslim women I know now are beyond incredible. They work important jobs or study hard at university. Some choose to stay home with their children and they play an extremely critical role in the development of future generations. There is a lot of tradition in Arab countries that makes people think it’s expected that many Muslim women are not educated and only stay at home and cook and look after children. For one, staying home and raising children is extremely valuable and should not be looked down on at all. And secondly, Islam does not prohibit women from living up to their potential but rather encourages it, as education for both genders is a very important part of Islam. Popular stereotypes of Arab women have made the narrative of oppressed women in Islam a difficult one to overcome. Anyone who takes just a moment to peak into the history of Islam will quickly see how vital women are to the religion. Prophet Muhammad’s (SAW) first wife, Khadija bint Khuwaylid, was a highly successful caravan trader who first employed Prophet Muhammad (SAW) and later proposed to him. Prophet Muhammad’s (SAW) youngest wife, Aisha, led an army in the Battle of the Camel. And afterward spent the rest of her life compiling quotes from her late husband that now make up a significant portion of Hadith (supplementary texts to the Quran about the life of Prophet Muhammad SAW). One of my favorite verses in the Quran is a clear indication of gender equality.

Indeed, the Muslim men and Muslim women, the believing men and believing women, the obedient men and obedient women, the truthful men and truthful women, the patient men and patient women, the humble men and humble women, the charitable men and charitable women, the fasting men and fasting women, the men who guard their private parts and the women who do so, and the men who remember Allah often and the women who do so – for them Allah has prepared forgiveness and a great reward.

Quran 33:35

This verse was revealed to Prophet Muhammed (SAW) after his wife, Umm Salama, asked why women were hardly ever mentioned in the Quran and all of the verses were directed towards men. Many scholars interpret this as a message of equality. When the Quran speaks of men, it is assumed that what is expected of men is also expected of women. In the eyes of Allah (SWT) both sexes are equal and will be punished and rewarded equally.

Final Thoughts

This post is really just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to changing the narrative on Islam. My main hope is that non-Muslims will begin to look at Islam with curiosity in their hearts rather than fear. Exploring something of a different culture, religion, language or country than your own takes you outside of your comfort zone and that’s okay. This life was not made to be a comfort to us but rather a struggle. A struggle for truth, for righteousness, and submission to a higher power. As-salamu alaykum.